Talking about it

Talking about suicide with a person that we are worried about is not always easy. However, asking questions and listening can save lives.

Here are some tips on how to start a conversation, assess the risk and respond.

01

Starting the conversation

Begin by expressing your concern:

  • "I am worried about you: you don't look at all well at the moment."
  • "I have noticed that you are changing, and it worries me."

Ask a direct question. It will not encourage the person to take their own life: on the contrary, it may come as a relief to them.

  • "Are you thinking of suicide?"
  • "Are you thinking of putting an end to your life?"

Listen without being judgmental. Let the person express himself or herself, even if it is difficult to listen to what they have to say.

  • "You seem to be going through difficult times at the moment: do you want to talk to me about it?"

If the person says worrying things, ask for clarification:

  • "When you say 'I would be better off dead', what do you mean by that?"
02

Assessing whether the person is in danger

All suicidal thoughts must be taken seriously. However, a person who is thinking of suicide is not always in immediate danger.

To assess the degree of urgency, ask precise questions:

  • "Do you have a plan? (How, where, when?)"
  • "Have you already made an attempt?" (a risk factor)
  • "Do you have the means to do it?" (imminence of the act)

The more precise the plan is and the more accessible the means, the more important it is to respond quickly.

Critical signs - act immediately

Immediately call the emergency services on 112 if a person:

  • has already carried out a suicidal act or is preparing to do so,
  • says that they might take their own life in the next few minutes/hours,
  • abandons the conversation saying that they are going to commit suicide,
  • threatens to put other people in danger,
  • hears voices ordering them to kill themself.

For further information on how to respond →

03

Seek specialised help

Assessing the risk can be complex. Do not hesitate to contact a trained professional to assess the situation.

SOS Détresse - anonymous helpline (telephone, chat, e-mail) 45 45 45 CHEM crisis centre (Esch) - round-the-clock service +352 57 11 24 500 KJT (Kanner-Jugendtelefon) - children and young people up to the age of 25 116 111 Péitrusshaus / SOLINA - young people aged 12-21 8002 6002 112, national emergency services 112
04

And if the person says that they are not thinking of suicide?

It is important to listen, to remain available and to tell them that you will be there if these thoughts ever appear in future. Continue to show support and concern for their wellbeing.

You can also encourage them to seek professional help:

  • to get an appointment with a doctor or psychologist [+ info],
  • jointly call a helpline if the person's frame of mind deteriorates (45 45 45 or 8002 6002 for young people aged 12 to 21 or 116 111 up to the age of 25).

Regular support can make all the difference.

Practical advice in a nutshell

Speak directly and calmly. Listen without judging. Put clear questions about a possible plan (how/where/when). If the situation is imminent, call 112 in Luxembourg. Seek professional help if you have doubts about the level of risk.